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This is a transcript of the season one episode, P.U. to P.E.

Script Edit

  • (Mom Unit is fueling up Dad Unit)
  • Dad Unit: Thank you, honey. (x3)
  • Mom Unit: Would you like anything else, dear? No, I can see you are full.
  • (Mom Unit pressing the intercom, Robot is "cleaning" his teeth)
  • Mom Unit: Little robot, come down and have some breakfast.
  • Robot: No time, Mom Unit. I am going to be late for school.
  • (Mom Unit holding a plugger, Robot is going down the escalator)
  • Mom Unit: I've got a new brand of energy. It is made from windpower, 100% organic. How about a quick quart of oil? A lube a day keeps the rust away.
  • Robot: Mom, I am not rusting. Anyway, I'll grab something in Auto Shop.
  • Mom Unit: Well don't forget your daily programming. Your task is to fully study all aspects of Junior High Physical Education. I have obtained the one supply item listed. It is named jock strap.
  • Robot: Hmm. Quite perplexing.
  • (A sign with the word P.E., made out of socks is seen along with stink marks)
  • (whistle blows) Mr. Workout: Alright, ladies and gentlemen, let's get those bodies moving! Work those muscles, strech those limbs, rattle them bones! Be all you can be in Polyneux P.E.!
  • Robot: Poor, pitiful, inefficent humans. How ridiculous they look. Robots are truly superior.
  • Mr. Workout: Well, what have we here? Well, Jones, you've joined up just in time. Look at those scrawny arms. Come on, let's get you started.
  • Mr. Workout: We'll just have you do some push-ups, like Royce here. (Robot doing push-ups, joints squeaking)
  • Mr. Workout: Unorthodox form, but what stamina! Let's try some other excerises.
  • (switches to Data Log Entry background, words typing) Robot: Data Log Entry. Middle school physical education involves rapidly changing position in a repetitive manner. As a robot, I am highly compatible with this objective. I have performed all tasks with optimum efficiency. I shall complete my daily programming with flying colors.
  • Mr. Workout: Fantastic! You know the rest of you could learn a lot from Jones here.
  • (whistle blows) Mr. Workout: Alright kids, hit the showers!
  • Robot: "Showers?" Direct me to the showers so that I may hit them. Must locate showers.
  • Kid: Follow me, man. I'm headed that way.
  • Robot: That human had no protective cloth layer. Humans disrobing? For what purpose? Excuse me, teacher. How does human nakedness interface with physical education?
  • Mr. Workout: A clean body is a healthy body, Jones. Now, hit the showers. (Robot scans, and finds out the shower has 98% water)
  • (Robot shakes, runs away) Kid: Hey, the robot's afraid to show his naked metal butt! (boys laughing)
  • Robot: I totally blew it in gym today. I did not know that water contains small droplets of water. Water makes robots rust.
  • Mom Unit: Hello, little robot. How did your programming on Physical Education go today?
  • Robot: Extremely difficult task. Too difficult to complete. (sips oil)
  • Mom Unit: You asset does not compute. You must try again tomorrow.
  • Robot: But-
  • Mom Unit: Tomorrow, Robot.
  • Robot: Tomorrow.
  • (transition sign)
  • Mr. W